Scores of women wondered,in some cases a little nervously,what they might be doing to puzzle,annoy and generally stump the men in their lives.Wonder no more.Here,just a few of the ways women make men crazy.
I'm convinced that she sprays my closet and the sheets with her perfume.Everything I own smells like flowers.
If I'm doing the dishes,she gets between me and the sink and does them,too.If I'm cooking,she gets between me and the stove,stirs,tastes,adds pepper.The only place she doesn't step in front of me is at the toilet.
If you open the refrigerator,you take your life in your hands.There's leftover turkey on top of yogurt on top of cottage cheese.If you're looking for,say,the mustard,you've got to unload shelf after shelf to find it,and then you've got to get it all back in.
She turns to me and,in all seriousness,asks"What was I just going to say?"
Her purse weighs more than she does.Whatever you need,it's in there:Band-Aids,aspirin,chewing gum,a tooth-brush kit,matches,probably a couple of hand grenades.
She clears the table while you're still eating,gathers up the newspaper while you're reading it,has your clothes in the washer before they hit the floor.
No matter what she's doing,she exercises.She jogs in place in the bathroom while she brushes her teeth,does leg lifts in the tub,stretches when she towels off.The woman never sits still.
She talks in food.Her dad is a peach;her sister's husband is a clam.Depending on her mood,I'm either dead meat or prime steak.
She wears these false eyelashes.She left them lying around and I slammed them with my newspaper,trying to kill the damn things.Scared me half to death.
She can't stand it if anyone talks down to her,but she reserves the right to play dumb when she wants to.She's talked her way out of a hundred traffic tickets by batting those lashes.And she manipulates me the same way.It works every time.
When she's mad or upset,she plays this old simon and Garfunkel song over and over and over.'Bridge Over Troubled Water.'It's a nice song but after two or three hours of it,I'll apologize,promise whatever,say anything,just to get her to stop playing it.
She grunt while she cleans the house.Dusting a shelf,polishing a table,she goes,"Uh,Ungh.Umph."I offer to do it just to stop the noise.
She uses the tenu"we"all the time."We like such-and-such.'We think so-and-so.As if we're one being one brain,one opinion.'"
Her nails are so long that if she ever made a sudden fist,she'd slash her wrists.
She's always on the phone.I put in an extra line,so 1 can make a call now and then.But when 1 pick it up,she's got some-body on hold.
She cries easily.Happy things,sad things,future things,past things.Things that haven't happened.Things that might News stories.TV commercials.A flower.
When she's depressed or has had a bad day at the office,she drowns her sorrows in chocolate.A double hot fudge sundae,or devil's food mocha cake.But she won't have a drink with me.Too many calories.
Nothing's wrong with her.She's perfect.Has no faults at all.And she agrees with me about that.
海外英語合肥G381中學外語教與學20022002男人心思你別猜，看過下文就明白！黃斌The many ways women Drive Men Crazy 作者：海外英語合肥G381中學外語教與學20022002男人心思你別猜，看過下文就明白！
網載 2013-09-10 21:42:55